to be titled -
by Rurichan
Summary: Given an R restriction for the second half of this chapter. It will be titled, just not now. Its angst! S+S, you could say its the prequel to Shape of the Heart, so expect cross overs.


Change  
  
Sakura entered her dorm room with a sigh. Her eyes brightened at   
the sight sitting on her bed.  
  
"Shaoran-kun!" she exclaimed as she dropped her bag and flew into   
his arms.  
  
"Ooof! Sakura."he said as he wrapped his arms around her.  
  
"Did you wait long?" she asked a she wrapped her arms around his   
neck.  
  
"Not too long." he said as he wrapped his arms loosely around her   
waist. He let his cheek rest on her stomach.  
  
Sakura was amazed at how tall he was, it seemed like yesterday   
that he was as tall as she was. Shaoran had grown up and filled out   
his broad shoulders.  
  
"Coach kept me after." she said as she let a finger twirl his   
brown hair.  
  
"Yuri mentioned something like that." he said.  
  
"Oh?" she said as she sat down in his lap. Shaoran pulled her   
closer to him. Two years ago, he would have objected to such a move   
and insisted on sitting next to her on her bed, until Sakura attacked   
him by kissing him. He quickly learned his lesson and dropped the   
stiff politeness.  
  
"You were always the athletic one," he chuckled.  
Sakura shrugged.  
  
"That's my Sakura..." he said softly for her ears alone, "always   
modest."  
  
Sakura blushed, rarely did he ever say such a thing, but when he   
did her heart would beat faster and she would turn bright red.   
Shaoran wasn't much for possessives but sometimes he'd let the phrase   
slip. She buried her face in his shoulder.  
  
Shaoran chuckled and took that opportunity to kiss her exposed   
neck.  
  
"I'd tell you two to get a room but you're already in one." a   
voice said.  
  
"Yuri!" Sakura exclaimed as she looked up.  
  
"Poor guy, I let him in just as I left to go take a shower." Yuri   
said with a smile.  
  
Sakura grinned at her roommate, "Always the good roomie."  
  
Yuri tossed her towel on the bed and put her shower stuff on a   
shelf.  
  
"Well." Shaoran said, "Shall we go get something to eat?"  
  
"Oh yes!" Sakura said. "Extra practice made me hungry." she turned   
to Yuri.  
  
"I have homework to do." Yuri said with a head shake.  
  
Sakura nodded, "Okay." she grabbed a coat and purse and took   
Shaoran's hand as they left the room.  
  
*-----*-----*-----*  
  
"Sakura..." Shaoran said. He had been listening to her happy   
chatter about the team since they left the dorm.  
  
"Oh! And coach says that I can probably make it to the varisty   
roster next season!" Sakura said brightly as they walked to their   
favorite italian restaurant.  
  
"Sakura." he said again  
  
"-he says that if I work hard enough I can easily-"  
  
He held her face in his hands and kissed her. "We're here." he   
said as soon as his lips left hers.  
  
Sakura nodded, her face red.  
  
He smiled, "You'd think you'd run out of energy after extra   
practice." he said.  
  
She smiled back at him and looked down a bit embarrassed.  
  
A few minutes later they were seated and browsing through the   
menu. Sakura always browsed but ordered the same thing. He knew   
what he wanted but he took that moment to glance over his menu to   
look at her.  
  
/It's been at least seven years?/ he asked himself as he watched   
her order.  
  
Yes, nearly seven years ago, he met her in elementary school. He   
chuckled at the memory of their first meeting. They had gotten off   
on the wrong foot, but later he became her friend. He soon realized   
later that friendship wasn't enough, even at the age of eleven it   
wasn't enough.  
  
She sat across from him, her head bowed over the menu, the light   
from the ambient spot light casting a halo on her light brown hair   
which was now longer than the old short wispy haircut she used to   
have in elementary school. In his eyes Sakura had become the woman he   
loved.  
  
Sakura ran a hand along the collar of her pale green sweater, it   
was shades lighter than her large green eyes, he mused for a moment.   
Seeing her so beautiful reminded him that she was no longer just a   
girlfriend. He couldn't help but notice the changes in her height   
and body. It was as if one day she had shed the girlish exterior to   
reveal a beautiful woman with the same beautiful green eyes looking   
back at him lovingly. He was lucky that she loved him. He never   
pushed their relationship further than what she wanted, always   
letting her establish the limit at all times, and seeing her like   
this made him the most grateful man in the world. But...  
  
  
But...  
  
  
... but...  
  
  
He wanted to make love to her.   
  
  
She sat across from him wrapped up like a present that was hidden   
under the Christmas tree with a note that said "do no open until   
Christmas". He couldn't help but see her this way, his hands itched   
to hold her in a different way, to kiss her in a different way. He   
would lay awake at night thinking about her and how her skin would   
feel against his.  
  
He wanted her.  
  
"Shaoran-kun?" she asked.  
  
"Huh?" he blinked.  
  
"Your order?"  
  
"Oh lasagna." he said quickly as he folded his menu automatically   
and handed it to the waiter who left to run their orders through the   
machine.  
  
Sakura let her chin rest on her hands, "What were you thinking?"  
He nearly choked on his water. It was almost uncanny how she was so   
close yet missed the target entirely.  
  
"About how long its been since I first met you." he said not   
missing a beat. It wasn't a real lie...  
  
She smiled, "Almost seven years?"  
  
"Yes." he said with a smile.  
  
*-----*-----*-----*  
  
"What if I lose my keys?" Sakura asked later that week.  
  
Yuri smiled at Sakura, "You never lose your keys." she said.  
Sakura smiled, "I know but-"  
  
She turned to Sakura, "I'm only going away for the weekend." she   
said.  
  
Sakura laughed, "I wish I could go with you guys, but I have this   
paper. The room is going to be so lonely."  
"I'm sure Shaoran will keep you company." she said as she hefted   
her bag.  
  
Sakura blushed.  
  
Yuri smiled, "You two are the cutest couple I have ever seen."   
Yuri said.  
  
There was a knock on the door. Yuri frowned, "I'm late?" she   
checked her watch as Sakura went to open the door.  
  
"Shaoran-kun!" she exclaimed as she threw her arms around his neck.  
  
"Speak of the devil!" Yuri said with a laugh.  
  
Shaoran smiled, "I was around the area." he wrapped his arms   
around Sakura's waist.  
  
"I was just telling Sakura that you two are the cutest couple on   
campus." Yuri said, "I should add considerate to that compliment."  
Shaoran smiled.  
  
Yuri checked her watch, "Well I better go knock on Kimiko's door.   
She's so forgetful."  
  
Sakura smiled and waved her off.  
  
"You were around the area?" Sakura said as soon as the door was   
closed.  
  
He smiled down at her, "Yes, I was invited to game of basketball   
by some of the engineering students."  
  
"I appreciate you coming over." she whispered as she kissed him.  
Shaoran kissed her back but he reluctantly pulled his lips free, "I   
need to tell you something." he said as he held her hands.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"But it can wait after I run over to my dorm and take a shower."   
he smiled, "I'll be back in an hour."  
  
"Okay." Sakura said.  
  
*-----*-----*-----*  
  
He arrived on time and knocked on the door.  
  
"Its open!" she called.  
  
He opened the door to see her working on her paper.  
  
She turned in her chair, "Hi." she smiled.  
  
His heart just melted into goop.  
  
"Hi." was all he could manage to say. /Sometimes I'm still the   
same little boy seven years ago./  
  
"Give me a minute to save and then we can go." she said.  
  
He sat down on the bed and picked up a letter, "Tomoyo wrote?"  
  
"Yrep." Sakura said, she removed the pencil in her mouth, "She'll   
be coming home early, I guess they have different final schedules at   
Clamp Campus."  
  
Shaoran put the letter back on the bedside table.  
  
"Okay!" she said as she hopped out of her seat. She looked so   
happy, a wide smile, her eyes sparkling sometimes she was just like   
the happy girl she was seven years ago.  
  
He rose and wrapped his arms around her, "I love you." he   
whispered.  
  
Sakura, "Ha... hai." she stammered.  
  
Shaoran smiled. Still the same.  
  
They walked over to a small restaurant hand and hand, Sakura   
talking about her paper, he talked about his homework.  
He pulled her seat out for her.  
  
"You don't see much of that these days." the waitress said.  
  
Sakura smiled up at Shaoran, "He just takes good care of me."  
  
He smiled back down at her and then sat down himself.  
  
Half an hour later, he was chewing on a piece of chicken when she   
brought up the subject he wanted to talk to her about.  
  
"You wanted to tell me something?"  
  
He swallowed and put his fork down.  
  
"Yes." he said. He was hoping she'd forget.  
  
"What is it?" she asked.  
  
He sighed, "Today my mother called."  
  
Sakura put her fork down. "Oh?"  
  
He held her hand, "I have to go to Hong Kong in four days." he   
said.  
  
"Four days?"  
  
He nodded. He looked at Sakura's face. She looked so sad. "But-"   
her face brightening a bit, "You'll come back right?"  
  
"Yes." he said, "I have to return to take my finals."  
  
"And midterms?" she asked.  
  
"I arranged with the professors already." he said. "I'm sorry I   
have to go."  
  
She shook her head, "Its a family obligation right?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
She brightened, "Don't worry about me." she said. "I'll be fine.   
When do you come back?"  
  
"Two weeks probably." he said.  
  
"So long." she said wistfully.  
  
"I know." he said. "But if I finish what I have to do, I will be   
on the first plane back."  
  
She nodded.  
  
"I promise."  
  
*-----*-----*-----*  
  
"Shaoran!" Sakura exclaimed the next day as he wrapped his arms   
around her waist.  
  
He laughed.  
  
She turned, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Playing basketball again." he said.  
  
She laughed, "You must like the engineering crew."  
  
"Not as much as you." he said.  
  
She blushed.  
  
"Who's in that group anyways?" she asked. "Anybody I know?"  
  
"Why?" he asked.  
  
"Just curious to know who keeps you away from me." she said.  
  
"I'm not at liberty to say." he said.  
  
"Why?" she asked this time.  
  
"I may get jealous." he said.  
  
She laughed and kissed him.  
  
Shaoran hated it when he lied to her. He had been playing   
basketball, and a lot of it lately, he would play at night,   
exhausting himself so he could collapse into bed. Basketball was one   
of the only few ways he could get his mind off her. However with his   
impending trip to Hong Kong and the way she was kissing plus the   
smell of her skin... basketball was not working.  
  
He led her to her bed and laid her down. Sakura giggled as she   
shifted to let him on the bed. His lips found hers and he kissed her   
again.  
  
"I love you..." he whispered as he left kisses along her jaw.  
  
Sakura said the same back in a half whisper. It was a   
throaty, "... love you too..." This was not helping. Especially now   
that her hands were in his hair. He wrapped his arms around her   
waist and kissed her hard.  
  
Sakura broke the kiss, "Shaoran?" she whispered.  
  
He kept kissing down her throat, his hands everywhere and   
memorizing the number of buttons she had on her shirt. He was   
strangely pleased to find out that they were the kind that snapped   
together.  
  
One.   
  
Two.   
  
He swept kisses along her collarbone.   
  
Three.  
  
Along the shoulder.  
  
Four.  
  
He let his body settle down on top of hers.  
  
"Matte." she squeaked, pushing against him.  
  
"Sakura..." he groaned in a half growl. Her surprised exclamation   
was lost in the frenzy of new textures and feelings.  
  
Five.  
  
Sakura was confused, Shaoran never did something like this. She   
shifted on the bed to escape but his body pinned her to her bed, his   
leg slipping between her knees. She could feel something pushing   
into her thigh. Her eyes widened.  
  
Six.  
  
His hand slipped past the open shirt up the side of her slim body   
and around a breast.  
  
"Ah!" she cried out wriggling underneath his warm body. "Ah!"  
A breast popped out of the bra cup, he left a trail of hot kisses   
down her throat, so close...  
  
"Iyada!"  
  
He felt something but he was so wrapped up with the moment and the   
wild rush of the feel of her that he reacted belatedly. He pushed   
his upper body off her and stared down at her dumbly. It took a   
belated second to realize that she had slapped him.  
  
She was heaving big breaths, her chest moving up and down with the   
unsteady breathing, one breast in and the other out of the bra. Her   
green eyes were wet with tears, and and most of all she looked   
frightened.   
  
And another second to realize what he had done.  
  
Shit.  
  
"Shaoran no baka!" she cried out pulling her shirt closed, her   
arms wrapping themselves tightly around her chest. She rolled over   
to her side.  
  
He let himself fall to the bed landing next to her. He pushed his   
face into her shoulder. "I'm sorry." he said, "I didn't mean-"  
  
Her body shook with sobs.  
  
"I'm sorry." he repeated, wrapping his arms around her, "I love   
you, you're so important to me." he said, "I need you." he kissed her   
temple, "Forgive me."  
  
Her hand found his among the tangle of limbs.  
  
"I'm sorry, so sorry." he kept repeating kissing her after every   
plea.  
  
"Its alright." she whispered. "Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"I didn't know how... " he said, "I love you so much... I wanted   
to show you." he said softly.  
  
She turned to him and looked up, a hand slipped along his waist   
pulling him closer to her. "Next time." she whispered, "Don't   
surprise me like that."  
  
"Sorry." he said as he reached for her shirt, she flinched. He   
started to button the shirt back up any ways.  
  
"Shaoran." she whispered. "Did I do something wrong?"  
  
"No!" he exclaimed, "Its just that- I did something wrong." he   
said.  
  
"I'm sorry." she said softly as she kissed his forehead, "I can't   
do it." she kissed his left eyebrow. "Try to understand that I'm not   
ready."  
  
Shaoran realized that he was breathing a bit hard. "I know, I   
should have said something."  
  
She left light kisses along his jaw line.  
  
"Its just that I'm going back to Hong Kong for a while, I won't be   
able to see you... you don't know how hard that will be for me."  
  
"I know." she said, "You've been with me for so long, being away   
will be so hard." Sakura said with a nod.  
  
"I'll call you everyday." he whispered.  
  
"Please." she said, "I'll be waiting."  
  
"I'm so sorry I have to go. I don't want to leave you."  
  
"But its a family obligation." she said, "You're the heir."  
  
"I don't want to be. I want to go to class, do homework, stay   
here with you." he said sadly.  
  
She kissed him, her arms twined their way around his neck. He   
kissed back wrapping his arms around her body.  
  
"Shaoran." she whispered.  
  
"I know." he said, "Let me ummm go take a shower." he said as he   
looked down at her beautiful face. He pulled himself away from her   
arms and sat up. "I need one anyways." he smiled, "I'll be back for   
dinner alright?"  
  
"Sure." she said.  
  
*-----*-----*-----*  
  
Sakura sighed as she laid out on the grass next to her last class.  
  
"You look relaxed, maybe you don't need me." a voice said.  
  
Sakura looked up, "Shaoran!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Sakura." he wrapped his arms around her.  
  
"I missed you." she whispered. "I missed you so much!"  
  
"Same with me." he said.  
  
"So are things done?" she asked.  
  
"In a manner of speaking... yes, I have a few things to deal with."  
  
She smiled at him. "You'll get them finished in no time."  
  
"Let's go?" he asked holding out his hand.  
  
Sakura nodded and stood up with his help. He wrapped his arms   
around her and held her to him tightly.  
  
"I have some things I need to talk to you about."  
  
"Oh?" she asked.  
  
"Do you have time today?"  
  
"I guess so, my paper can wait I guess." she said. She let her   
cheek rest on his shoulder. He had a desperate tone in his voice,   
but she ignored it. Shaoran was back she was holding him. He was   
wearing a suit?  
  
She looked up at him and tugged on the lapel, "Why the nice   
clothes?"  
  
Shaoran sighed and reluctantly pulled away from her. He smiled   
down at her, "That's part of things I need to talk to you about." he   
said.  
  
"Oh." she said.  
  
"I need to go settle some things, I'll pick you up at your dorm in   
an hour?"  
  
"Do I need to match you?" she asked with a smile.  
  
"If you want." he said.  
  
*-----*-----*-----*  
  
He returned an hour later and knocked on her dorm door. Sakura   
opened it and smiled up at him. "Hi." she said softly.  
  
He smiled back at her, "Hi."  
  
Yuri nodded at them as she packed things into a box.  
  
"Let's go?" he said as he took her hand.  
  
"Sure." she said as she grabbed a small purse and closed the door.  
  
He noticed she had changed into a blue skirt and button a shirt.   
She looked pretty, he missed her green dress. "You didn't need to   
change." he said.  
  
"I know..." she said, "but I wanted to."  
  
They walked to their favorite italian restaurant. Was it nearly   
eight months ago that they sat down at the same place? /I've been   
thinking too much about the past./ he thought with a smile. Perhaps   
after tonight he'd think about the future.  
  
"Shaoran?" she asked.  
  
He smiled. "You don't say -kun anymore."  
  
She blushed, "I guess I out grew it somewhere along the way."  
  
He took her hand, "Sakura..." he said, "I have a question to ask   
you."  
  
"Yes?" she asked looking up surprised.  
  
With his other free hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out   
a ring box. "Will you marry me?"  
  
----  
  
1) This fic has a title, I just don't want to title it yet. ^_-  
2) I guess Shaoran is a bit out of character, but as one friend put   
it, they're in college so its plausible. I just like to note that   
Shaoran isn't 12 nor is he perfect, he's a man. ^_- (Not to say all   
men are like this but, he's just got feelings for Sakura that he   
can't help.) Errr yeah... ^^;;  
3) this takes place well after vol 12, movie 2, etc  
4) This is unititled b/c I don't want it to color your ideas of the   
end. 


End file.
